Every Christian wants to be a good witness but the demands of caregiving that often cause you to miss church, your morning Bible reading and prayer time or not being able to be part of the choir or Bible study during the caregiving years, makes you look and feel more like a backsliding Christian than a faithful disciple. Self-criticism seems to plague us, but please be encouraged.
As we focus on the sacred trust of caring for our loved one, we don’t have to worry about that. Not only does God see our devotion but others do too.
Listen to this letter received by a caregiver six days after the funeral of their loved one. Although I have permission from the caregiver to share this letter, I have changed the names of the caregiver to ‘Niece’ and the letter writer to ‘Aunt’ to protect their identities.
“My dear Niece – I have so very much to thank you for – and you were so very busy I could get no space to give you hugs or words to express my gratitude – for without YOU I just don’t know how any of us could have slept – and you kept up right through all the snags that were thrown at you – and managed each problem thoroughly as it was, or seemed to be in the plans, more and more mountains to climb – and climb them you did with excellent common sense and thorough understanding – my admiration just grows.
The above covers only the sudden passing of your dearest Mom and how you managed everything and everybody involved – I did so want to express this thanks for you and ALL that you had done for such a sweet & forgiving mother, so devoted to her faith and to her church – I worried for your health because not for one second did you take time to consider yourself and I wanted to make just everyone who knew her know that you had been her superb caregiver, leaving no stone unturned to provide as much love & care as possible for her.
The sacrifice was costly I am sure from your personal viewpoint but with God’s faith you managed all those 200 mile trips to and from your home – may He please keep you safe now – for there must be positive good things now in store for you – it will take time to grieve, for your mother will be sorely missed by many and for you most – it always amazed me to see how you knew what she might be trying to tell you & how you could bring secure love between you. I am sure this shone through to those who cared for her – you both will be long remembered! I for one will not forget your devotion despite any & all problems thrown at you both.
Now I am going to try & print this and if the old machine lets me down I shall try again – just as you kept on trying - bless that big, big, heart of yours – with my love, Niece. And don’t hesitate to call me if I can be of any help here and there – for the impatient demands that follow a funeral - congratulations for handling the visitations & the funeral –
WELL DONE THOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT!
Auntie XXX OOO”
You see, you are a witness on this caregiving journey to people you know and to people you might never have come into contact with. When self-criticism arises, remember that God loves you and is pleased with you and He’s always right.
So to all you superb caregivers, keep the faith and keep up the fight to care for your loved one. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b)
With God’s help, you will too, we are overcomers!